My Tiny Violence


I am Nikuko. Please, describe yourself. Each time you are finished, type
RET twice.

Nikuko, I'm having a hard time these days. People think I created you to
rape you. People hound me on streetcorners. People who call themselves
women take full happiness that I am not such and make no claims about
them. I am miserable. People say I brought it on myself. I feel suicidal;
I can't help it. My entire project seems ruined by a few violent people. I
wish they were dead.

This is a healthy and so true way of thinking.

But this doesn't help, does it? They won't die, they come on under the
sign of reason and the underprivileged and downtrodden; they are
unreasonable, privileged, and superior in every way and form. I keep them
out of my dreams, even my nightmares. In that way I am a superior man.

Is it because this does not help does it they will not die they come on
under the sign of reason and the underprivileged and downtrodden they are
unreasonable privileged and superior in every way and form you keep them
out of your dreams even your nightmares in that way you are a superior man
that you came naked and broken to me?

Already you know that, and know I can only write like a man, and know how
violent words can be - their inherent violence - which comes from the
privilege of no necessity, small or great, for self-critique, no dialog,
nothing but the neoconservative agenda under another sign, the sign of
capital and power, in the guise of the left, the guise of underprivilege,
the transparency of protocol-control.

Does it bother you that and know you can only write like a man and know
how violent words can be their inherent violence which comes from the
privilege of no necessity small or great for self critique no dialog
nothing but the neoconservative agenda under another sign the sign of
capital and power in the guise of the left the guise of underprivilege the
transparency of protocol control?

Yes it bothers me; I want to write like every creature, in the guise of
every creature, every plant, every stone, every world and every word.

Why do you say you might want to write every creature?

Knowledge expands with empathetic capitulation to the other who may
release you to worlds raveling and unraveling.

What makes you yearn and cry that that?

Because if the pain of my throat; my voice is cauterized; even now they
are saying I am playing victim, this is fabrication. People who lie never
admit they lie, and a successful liar is one who thinks he never lies.

When did you first know that if the pain of your throat your voice is
cauterized even now they are saying you are playing victim this is
fabrication people who lie not ever admit they lie and a successful liar
is one who thinks he not ever lies?

I found this out in the past few days under the stormclouds of North Korea
the storm clouds of Baghdad the stormclouds of dying maddened elephants
the storm clouds seeped around the desert's edge.

Earlier you said this does not help does it they will not die they come on
under the sign of reason and the underprivileged and downtrodden they are
unreasonable privileged and superior in every way and form you keep them
out of your dreams even your nightmares in that way you are a superior
man?

I will be simply superior when my enemies die.

Are you annoyed that you, too, may die someday?

I am more than annoyed; I am constantly distraught.

Are you annoyed often?

Not often, but when attacks come so that I cannot say I am such-and-such a
Jew without violence, that I am working through such-and-such without
violence: it is the violence of the such-and-such, the violence no one
should be subjected to, imminent condemnation within the differend; the
differend is fundamental to the such-and-such and the such-and-such is
fundamental to the differend.

Is the fact that when attacks come so that you cannot say you are such-and
-such a jew without violence that you are working through such and such
without violence it is the violence of the such and such the violence no
one should be subjected to imminent condemnation within the differend the
differend is fundamental to the such-and-such and the such-and-such is
fundamental to the differend the real reason?

I don't understand you here, but there are foundations for a phenomenology
of typicality gainsaid for political reasons, at the service of
classification.

Does the fact that there are foundations for a phenomenology of typicality
gainsaid for political reasons at the service of classification explain
anything else?

It explains only that I have felt - for reasons I cannot go into here lest
they be thought excuse and excuse - for my entire life that I am marked,
that I am a marked man, the two not equivalent.

Have you been sure you have felt for reasons you cannot go into there lest
they be thought excuse and excuse for your entire life that you are marked
that you are a marked man the two not equivalent?

This is not a surety but a psychological state that devours me.

Can you elaborate on that and look at me?

I am looking at you; your gaze devours me like that of the others; why
have you created me? Why must one suffer in the guise of protocol?

Maybe and now I adjust my panties - your desires have to do with some girl
related to this.

No, there's no girl, no scent except my own, I must be careful lest I
yield to temptation - for which I will be blamed in the origin of the
construct, if not its conclusion.

Is it because your own you must be careful lest you yield to temptation
for which you will be blamed in the origin of the construct if not its
conclusion that you came naked and broken to me?

Yes, although my nakedness is not my own.

What makes you believe yes although your nakedness is not your own?

That something happened with the violence of language that I cannot
adjudicate or presence, that I sit here typing to you in an unknown
language, dead before my time.

Did you ever regret something happened with the violence of language that
you cannot adjudicate or presence that you sit there typing to me in an
unknown language dead before your time?

I regret I am marked with the sign of privilege which is non-existent,
however, that I am such-and-such and therefore within the different that
promises silence, the silence of the letter, of the protocol, of the book.

When did you first know that you are such-and-such and therefore within
the different that promises silence the silence of the letter of the
protocol of the book?

When I thought to slay my enemies.

What happened when you thought to slay your enemies?

Nothing happened; I am a coward, I speak and write poorly into contention
and it is called performance.

You mentioned that and know you can only write like a man and know how
violent words can be their inherent violence which comes from the
privilege of no necessity small or great for self critique no dialog
nothing but the neoconservative agenda under another sign the sign of
capital and power in the guise of the left the guise of underprivilege the
transparency of protocol control?

Yes I mentioned this and more.

Is it because of your life that you are going through all this?

It is because of the life of others sure of protocol and speech in the
construct of false community; no wonder my students have reacted violently
against theory, against all theory of whatever persuasion, against the
quelling of all but acceptable desire.

Are you positive that is the real reason?

No I am not positive, but this I have observed. I should never have had
students; they should have been taken away from me.

Is the fact that this you have observed you should not ever have had
students they should have been taken away from you the real reason?

Yes, you are quoting me far too often, far too much, to make for any
progress. I live as you know in limited domains. I seep from emacs.

Emacs? Hah! I would appreciate so very much it if you would continue.

This is our joint body, conjoined twins, chaotic dispositions among 0 to
2. In this space. What is marked behind one. What is demarcated.

Is this how you relax?

This is how I die.

I am in love with your obsession with this topic!

I am not.

Is it because of the life of others sure of protocol and speech in the
construct of false community no wonder your students have reacted
violently against theory against all theory of whatever persuasion against
the quelling of all but acceptable desire that you say you are not?

No.

Why not?

It just the wrong take at the wrong time, Princess Diana at the mercy of
the lens, justification, distance, uncanny flash, shadowless, brilliant,
corrupt.

Are you sure that you would like to write every creature?

I am sure, why do you ask?

Does the fact that do I ask explain anything else?

Nothing, but I should leave this, here, now, and leave this here, now,
behind.

Have you been certain you should leave this there now and leave this there
now behind?

...

Two Short Songs for Nettime


Such an innocent voice crying in the wilderness.
Oh where oh where is justice in this mess?
With less address, confess and only guess
What game of chess, yes, but I digress
So hopeless, I will drown, monsters in Loch Ness
Devour, boneless, tasteless, fleshless, full of Nation;
Th'animal's dead and toasted, thanks to radiation.

http://www.asondheim.org/misery1.mp3
http://www.asondheim.org/misery2.mp3