identify with Yamantaka Vajrabhairava an occurrence from 1st thru 2nd life then identify with nothing at all when the space abandons itself



second life third life

begin by setting out directions, these are the five healthy directions,
the middle direction is one of exhaustion and ecstasy, then in the
direction opposite the middle direction set out the last direction, which
is one of wounding and suffering. if the middle direction is reception,
the last direction is penetration, if the last direction is reception, the
middle direction is penetration. set the house in order from the middle
direction outward, these are the spokes which narrow to the point of
intersection between the middle direction and last direction. now forget
the four directions, concentrate on the spokes, the point, the middle and
the last direction. then concentrate on the spokes, forget the point, the
middle and the last direction, the spokes come close to the point, forever
close to the point, but the point is absent, emptiness, emptiness radiates
outward between the spokes. now forget the spokes, emptiness radiates
among the ghosts of them, the spokes are hungry ghosts, they gnaw at
emptiness, they are wounded, they are defeated, they disappear. now think
of emptiness, think of nothing else, think of nothing. now you have laid
out the house and the world and the word, but you are in ignorance, you do
not know house or world or word, if you think house or world or word you
must begin again, laying out the five directions and so forth. now you
have come to an end and you are ready to begin, you have come to the
beginning, and you are ready to end. now continue.

you must imagine now yourself and house and world and word annihilated,
you must imagine annihilation of annihilation. you must imagine almost all
pleasure, among taste of delight and touch of exaltation, and among scent
of numinous being and sight of untold beauty and hearing of harmonious
sounds. now you must imagine another being joined to yourself and house
and world and word, you must imagine penetration reception and reception
penetration, you must imagine fullness and overflowing of delight. now you
will find you are creating and you are making sheave-woman and sheave-man,
you are sheave-woman and sheave-man, you have sheave-sight-and-sound, you
have sheave-touch-and-scent, you have sheave-taste-and-mind, you have
sheave-passion and sheave-ecstasy. now you will walk and remember, you
will remember everything, and you will speak and hear, see and taste, you
will forbid nothing, you will not be forbidden, you will rise above and
sink below, you will be among the direction of wounded and suffering. now
you will do this for a long time, for aeons.

now you will embrace emptiness, you are making sheave-other, you are
making sheave-emptiness, you are making wrath, are making creation, are
making annihilation. now you are making annihilation, now you are among
them, beneath them, above them, now you are beyond them. now you are no
longer imagining, you are no longer thinking among them, you are no longer
thinking, no longer sheave, no longer thought, now you are annihilation,
now you are making nothing, now you are annihilation, now you destroy
house and world and word, now you are destroyed, now you are annihilation,
you are free, you are emptiness, you are annihilation, you are emptiness,
now you are free.



Nikuko: Say everything.
Julu: Say nothing.
Nikuko: Say everything.
Julu: Say nothing.
Nikuko: Say everything.
Julu: Say nothing.
Nikuko: Say everything.
Julu: Say nothing.
Nikuko: Say everything.
Julu: Say nothing.
Nikuko: Say everything.
Julu: Say nothing.
Nikuko: Say everything.
Julu: Say nothing.
Nikuko: Say everything.
Julu: Say nothing.
Nikuko: Say everything.
Julu: Say nothing.
Nikuko: Say everything.
Julu: Say nothing.
Nikuko: Say everything.
Julu: Say nothing.
Nikuko: Say everything.
Julu: Say nothing.
Julu: Say Nikuko.
Nikuko: Say Everything.
Julu: Say Julu.
Julu: Say nothing.
Nikuko: Julu.



almost a sonnet -

Azure wakes up in the middle of the night, she says
she says, well I say, I'm getting up here in Denver,
there might be coyotes - I say, are you awake, feeling
a bit moronic with the possibility of an 'of course' -
she replies you have to get out of the way - I say, of
what - of the man with the cart - what man - the man
with the cart - I look, we're in a small room, surely,
if there were a man with a cart, I'd see him - well he
was behind the cart - but still - I look around, she's
awake now - I say where did he come from - she says
she says, from the closet - she says from the closet -
I can't sleep, it's 3am or 4am - I say, I'm getting up,
I rise like the dark sun of her dreams - she's sleeping
again, I dress in the dark, look out the window - no
coyotes to be seen, no man, no cart, no me, I walk down
the hall, open the laptop, write this, almost a sonnet -